This song made itself up one afternoon at Lark Camp when I staggered to my cabin in hopes of taking an afternoon nap. The Moroccan bagpipe, according to Bob Thomas, is the world's most irritating instrument, as it cannot be tuned to a diatonic scale.
In a cabin in the Woodlands 'Twas the cabin next to mine Lived a girl who played the bodhran And her name was Susie Stein.
This young woman and her roommate Got along together fine 'Cause her roommate played the squeezebox And her name was Angeline.
Angeline she had a baby On his mom he liked to dine So he woke her up at five and six And seven, eight and nine.
Now the moral of this story If you like to jam till dawn Learn to play Moroccan bagpipes Soon your roommates will be gone.
Tune: The Broom of the Cowdenknowes
How blythe was I that morn to hear My name on the radio Now every Monday on KCUF I'll have my very own show.
But the words the seven deadly words The words that I dare not say If I say (bleep), (motherbleep) or (bleep) They'll take my program away The seven deadly words
The listeners called from near and far Gualala to Covelo Grandmothers, housewives and little kids All said they loved my show.
Till one morn, one bonny summer morn That's when my sorrows began I said the deadliest deadly word And then the (bleep) hit the fan.
The moon was full and I'd been out at Lark I'd had two hours sleep I pushed a button and "Car Talk" came on It was then I said "Oh bleep..."
A lady from Ukiah had tuned in She heard the word I did say She'd never heard such a word before And she fainted dead away.
Hard luck that I should banished be By some officious creep May he come down with a case of the piles The next time that he takes a (bleep).
Some dark night, some dark and stormy night Into the studio I'll creep I'll gently turn on the microphone And I'll softly whisper "bleep..."
Oh the words, the seven deadly words The words that we dare not say If we say (bleep), (motherbleep) or (bleep) They'll take our license away The seven deadly words
Webmaster, Jack Gilder © 2002 all rights reserved.
Lark Camp, PO Box 1176, Mendocino, CA 95460 USA (707) 964-4826